


Silence

by Aqua111



Category: KISS (US Band)
Genre: Character Death, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Short One Shot, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-02-01 06:42:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21422818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aqua111/pseuds/Aqua111
Summary: Bruce is grieving the loss of his best friend.
Relationships: Bruce Kulick & Eric Carr
Comments: 6
Kudos: 9





	Silence

Bruce shortly paused his practice and looked up from his guitar. No, he was still sitting alone in the room. Almost five months later and he still expected Eric to walk in any time and start an impromptu jam session with him. Although he knew it was never going to happen again. His gaze wandered to the drum set in the corner. Pearl... not Ludwig anymore... and the set they would use on stage also had become much smaller. It looked so lonely and lost without anyone playing it. The entire room seemed so lonely and lost. Or was he just projecting his own feelings onto his surroundings?

_So silent, that everyone of us knew_  
This was forever, for ever and a lifetime   
And it was so silent  
That everyone of us knew there'd be no words  
To ever describe this feeling  
So silent, all clocks had stopped  
Time stood still  
So silent and so lost you went away 

He thought of the video shooting to God Gave Rock'n'roll To You. Eric had been so weak, had looked so sick, so fragile. And yet he had just been so happy that he could still be there with them.  
He was on his way to revovery they had said. He had already been released from the hospital. It seemed only a matter of time until he was well enough and ready to record and perform with them again. Everything seemed to turn out alright.  
And then when he heard the news - Eric being back in the hospital - it was as if Bruce's world had slowly fallen apart around him, and then it had been completely shattered when shortly after he had been told that his best friend had passed away.

_So loud, the hours after the impact_  
When we were supposed to realise and understand it all  
And it was  
So loud, that everything we thought  
Didn't bring anything but emptiness  
So loud and so lost it was here  
When silence lived with us instead of you 

His memories of the following weeks just blurred together. Just a long seemingly unending period of pain, sometimes with other people, sometimes without. So many sleepless nights and if he could sleep he dreamed of him, only to then wake up and realise that Eric was gone and that he would never be able to speak to him, or just simply be with him again. So many things that other people had said to him, all well meant but why would anything matter if it couldn't bring back Eric. So many visits to a grave he still couldn't believe was Eric's...

And then he simply had to function again, they all had to. The album they had started with Eric Carr was finished with Eric Singer. Five months and now they soon would start their next tour. Without Eric Carr... No matter their loss, this band just had to continue to function. Smile for the camera and pretend nothing ever happened and that you are still going on strong. He couldn't deny it, in a way it helped to just have something to focus on, to just continue working. And Singer was a great guy, the best they could have wished for to follow in Eric Carr's footsteps.

But still, sometimes it was just hard to keep it together - when the memories came flooding back and his chest felt as if it was about to burst. He saw how much his hands were now trembling, then he felt hot tears on his face.

_I have heard so much and still nothing ever reaches me_  
It is the reason why I can't sleep at night  
And even if I write 1000 songs about loss  
That doesn't mean I understand  
Why this feeling stays forever 

He heard the door opening, then Singer's chipper voice.  
"I thought you were playing. Hope it's not too late yet for me to butt in."  
His steps halted for a moment, then he slowly came closer, the tone in his voice now changed to one of worry.  
"Brucie... what's the matter?"

" 'm fine," Bruce mumbled and tried to turn away.

The next moment he was pulled into an embrace, his face against Singer's chest. His silent tears turned into painful sobs. And all the while Singer just held him, occasionally ran his fingers through Bruce's hair, but without saying a word. Just held him while he let his pain out.

_So silent_  
Even though I miss you every day  
And wherever you may be now  
You show me  
That silence now has become your friend 

**Author's Note:**

> The lyrics are a translation of the song Still by Jupiter Jones.  
I heard this song, it made me think of Eric and suddenly I couldn't stop my tears anymore.  
Really short story.


End file.
